We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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