We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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