DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
