his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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