Me too!
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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