Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
