Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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