I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Vodka?
Forever.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Randomize