gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
