Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
