he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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