We should be called the Road Head Warriors
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
Randomize
