I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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