you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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