My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
