I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I think pants incapable of making pants work
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