she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
