Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
