im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
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