you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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