Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.

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(949): View more from California

I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.

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(734): View more from Michigan

I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth

(248): View more from Michigan

Sounds like a blessing in disguise

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?

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(203): View more from Connecticut

I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com

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(415): View more from California

This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.

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(310): View more from California

Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER

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(410): View more from Maryland

so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers

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