my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Randomize
