finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
