you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
