Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I love black thongs
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
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