I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
