Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Randomize