My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
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