i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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