if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
