saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Randomize
