I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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