i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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