Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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