did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
