last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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