woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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