I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
