The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
this is an emotional support booty call
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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