Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
