How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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