her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
