You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
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