just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
