Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
