if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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