His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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