Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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