I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
