so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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