i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
