OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
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Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
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That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
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