How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
We had to coat check the pizza.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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