Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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