Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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