So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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