what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Couch. On fire.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Randomize
