try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
