I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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