I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
