my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
Randomize
