Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
