My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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