I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
