I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
