3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
