The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
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