What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
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