Already got asked if we're dating
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
